Peach Cobbler

PURE FUCKERY.

2010-01-27T09:58:00.004-05:00

I love MicheMo, but I promise I HATE her for introducing me to Monsta Wit Da Fade. I cried laughing at the first video I saw of him. I don't know who Lil Roh Beef is but I hope she knows there's a tribute song to her. Every time he did that "OOH!" I lost a little bit more of my soul.

And if that wasn't enough for you, he came back with another one. I DIED. You will too. Especially towards the end when he starts whispering then comes back with it. OOH!

Fuckery is alive and well in 2010.

La La Laaaa La La Laaaaa FUCK YA'LL!!

2010-01-19T16:52:00.005-05:00

The only thing people are talking about from last week's American Idol auditions is muthafuckin Pants On The Ground (which I have heard 7 different versions of by the way, including an auto-tune version AND chopped and screwed, but I digress...)

HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN????

Everybody hopped on General Larry Platt's geriatric dick and forgot all about Lamar Royal. Not over here we didn't. This is certifiable fuckery. If you just wanna skip to the epic curse out, dig in to this cobbler at the 2:19 minute mark.

LMAO. He went SMOOTH OFF on them. Lamar Royal>>>>>>> General Larry Platt. Somebody call Tyler Perry and get this man a job.

Can I Talk My Shit Again??

2010-01-11T06:21:00.003-05:00

Damn! I ain't know it had been THIS long since I dished out the fuckery. Happy New Year, I promise to be back on my shit. There's just too much fuckery in the world not to be. Somebody shoulda slapped me like this little boy did homeboy in this commercial.

I reckon I'm back now. Stay tuned.

Flush Me Through The Gates of Heaven

2009-10-12T16:16:00.000-04:00

I can't.

Hilarity Just Ensued

2009-09-21T11:00:00.001-04:00

How can you not love Affion Crockett for this??

Wow Kanye...

2009-09-15T07:12:00.002-04:00

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life-

Magic, READ YA BOOK!!!!!!

2009-08-18T17:14:00.004-04:00

So I was watching DreamGirls with my homegirl while I'm doing her hair today. Aside from laughing at any given moment thinking about Jamie's Peen (teehee), I couldn't help but notice Lil Magic and all that raw emotion she was giving me at the end of the movie!! I was like, somebody please call Tyler Perrrrrrrry!!! Tyler Perry! and get this little girl a gig! I mean, KeKe Palmer ain't the only little black girl out there that can shed a tear on camera.

But apparently, Lil Magic has been hitting the mean streets! I CAN'T!!!! I asked the twitters, and thanks to DivaTy I saw this flyer , and I was like, performing WHAT exactly. I wish I had never known. Cause as soon as I asked, she sent me this.

Magic, get off this stage. AND READ YA BOOK!

If I Have No Words To Say, I'm Just Gon Wave My Hands

2009-08-08T10:23:00.002-04:00

*sigh*

One word for this video...

WHY????

Michael Would Not Be Pleased!!!!!!

2009-07-31T14:23:00.002-04:00

It's been a long time, I shouldna left you, but a bitch been working, moving, engaged in life and hoeshit. But I'm back! And better than ever. I was at a shindig the other night, and somebody showed me this video... And I knew, if ever there was something to come back to, it's this. Sooooo many questions... so little time!!

LMAO. How you tell the Repo man to "Beat It"??? And just where the FUCK this nigga get a Delorean from??? I can't. You shouldn't either.

My Sentiments EXACTLY

2009-07-01T14:29:00.003-04:00

About the BET Awards

What more can I say?? The only thing he didn't touch on that REALLY pissed me off was the fact that there was no muthafucking dance tribute for MICHAEL JACKSON. Are you serious BET??? Then they let Ciara SING. Oh hell no. But other than that, I feel the saaaaaaaaaaame way about those fucked up BET Awards.

Shout outs to my girl JanaiChristian for leading me to this.

R.I.P Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T23:47:00.002-04:00

I was so sad today ya'll. When I heard the news, I turned into Fantasia...

I am so shocked. So if you don't get any peach cobbler for a while, I'm still mourning MJ's death and Celebrating his life. I would post all my favorite MJ videos, but there are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many. So just enjoy watching him be a dancing machine.

And..... Remember The Time, just cause it's sooooo classic.

And watch Can You Feel It cause it was my shit.

Okay, let me stop, cause I can keep going forever. *sigh*

R.I.P Michael. Your music will live on forever.

Seriously.... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

2009-06-24T19:58:00.003-04:00

We are in the end of days!!!! We gotta be! I'm speechless like shit right now. I... just.... am completely FLABBERGASTED by this bullshit!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO????

Is that representative in the back... is she actually bobbing her head to Halle Berry??? I CAN'T. I Quit. I hate everything. As my beloved Fresh would say SHAM-FUCKING-WOW.

Ballroom Thursdays

2009-06-18T23:11:00.002-04:00

You know I love the queens, so I can't let a Thursday go by without giving you some ballroom to give you LIFE! Now, everybody knows Leiomy Mizrahi is hands down my favorite. But I need to find a number 2! You feel me??

So while I was searching high and low, I remembered this post.... and I was so focused on Selvin Khan and his one dangling tooth in all it's fabulousness. But... what about RICKY ALLURE?! I went back and watched that video from 2:39 to 4:25. It was ALL about Ricky Allure. If you go back and watch, you'll see that Mr. Ma'am or Miss Sir, whatever you wanna call him was giving you MUCH fevah! And got damnit if that bitch didn't WERK! He's intriguing. So I perused youtube watching Ricky Allure for a whole damn hour (That's a long time. A whole hour on the internet is one whole less hour I have to do hoe shit.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present, The LEGENDARY Ricky Allure.

He told that bitch, throw that damn tutu if you want to. I will embarrass you with your OWN shit! I LOVE IT!

The 7 seconds between 0:23 and 0:30 GAVE ME SO MUCH LIFE!!!!!!! You ain't neva seen the robot look that good! HA!

I LIVE!

Didn't T.I. Kill Your Career Years Ago Lil Flip???

2009-06-18T13:11:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry. But honestly, I haven't come across fuckery of this epic proportion in a while. Remember Lil Flip?? It's okay if it takes you a while to remember. He was this rapper from Houston that had a lil quick shine, until he got into it with T.I. about being "King Of The South" (na'an one of them niggas was touching THE REAL King Of The South Kilo Ali, but I digress....). So Clifford did us all a favor and kindly murked Lil Flip's career.

But I guess Flipper couldn't leave well enough alone. I guess he figures since Clifford has a couple of months in the clink he should try to re-emerge. I'm all for that, but this IS NOT THE WAY to make any kind of comeback. Somebody makes a hot song about Halle Berry, so Lil Flip decides he's gonna do one too, about Kim Ho... I mean, Kim Kardashian.

The following is an EPIC FAIL.

Do the Kim Kardashian??? What does that entail? Having a shitty reality show? Stealing Sonya Norwood's credit cards? Unless you talking about making a sex tape with Ray-J or riding Reggie Bush's balogna pony, I'll pass.

I can't with this negro.

Ballroom Thursdays- Look At Me Bitch!!

2009-06-11T09:48:00.003-04:00

It's been a long time, I should'na left you, without a dope post to give you LIFE!!! Ballroom Thursdays is back bitches.

I've perused some of the new new to find these jewels, so enjoy. If the queens don't do it for you like they do it for me, don't worry. Peach Cobbler's fuckery will be back in full force in the upcoming weeks.

I am not the same... I am a Martian??? I guess. You better work you Martian Bitch! LoL.

This Video is good shit too, so follow the yellow brick road since I couldn't embed :-/

...

2009-06-04T13:24:00.001-04:00

I Doubt GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD Is Pleased With This Fool

2009-06-03T17:06:00.005-04:00

Sooooo, if you know me, you know I don't really deal with BET at all. And you know, I always just knew that in the depth of my spirit they just still played church services between 4 am and 8 am..... But no.... I don't know what this is. But church service it is not. I don't know if ya'll know who Kerney Thomas is. I didn't until recently. I am troubled in my spirit at this. The "Red Blood Of Jesus Cloth"???? REALLY?? *sigh*

I can't with this hollerin' man!

They Shoulda Never Gave You Ni99as Animation

2009-05-30T19:06:00.005-04:00

Sorry I've been on hiatus. But I'm back with a fuckery filled post for you. By now, you've probably seen THIS NIGGA

from Pretty Ricky dancing in a gotdamn red speedo. If not, you can click here. I don't want to post it, cause that might cause the site to crash due to fuckery overload, considering what I'm about to post.

Somebody thought it would be cute to put it in cartoon form. *SIGH* I laughed SOOOOOOO hard.

B.Y.O.B. makes these all the times. Click here to peep some more. Shout out to the homie JanaiChristian for pointing me towards this jewel.

P.S. THIS SHIT is funny as hell too. Ya'll know I love Lil' Duval.

PARENTING FAIL!!!!!

2009-05-14T17:16:00.002-04:00

Use the comment box and leave some words, cause I have none besides these three- I hate niggashyt.

Who Is Responsible For This?????????

2009-05-14T16:24:00.003-04:00

I don't mind capitalizing on grade A fuckery to make a buck or $5. It is a recession after all. Durty Mo is my hero. Shit. But THIS..... This I simply can't condone. Cockbibs???? Not only am I mad about the fact that these are REAL, I'm destroyed by this video.

I CAN'T. I wish a muthafucka WOULD whip out a bib when I'm getting into some Hoe Shit. Someone explain.

Bitch, That Was 25 Years Ago!!!

2009-05-07T18:19:00.003-04:00

Quick! What's the most FAMOUS music video of all time????

No, sorry. I know, I thought of this too at first. But no. Actually, it's Michael Jackson's "Thriller". Do you know that Ola Ray, the chick from the video, is SUING MJ for royalties off the video??

TRUE STORY!!

WHAT THE HELL??? That shit was 25 years ago!! I'm just saying, I didn't even know you could get royalties off being in a music video. My cousin Dane Dane is in all Shawty Lo videos, he ain't get paid for it though. Does Carlos owe him some money?? I need answers.

But on some real shit, Ola Ray is tripping. Or maybe not. I mean, it is a recession and shit. I'm finna look up my 2nd grade best friend up on facebook cause I gave her $1 to buy a Lisa Frank pencil and eraser from the school store and she ain't neva pay me back. I gots to get to dah moneys like Giesha said.

*Yeah, I know. I just wanted an excuse to post the Get'N 2 The Money video.

The Dream Realized???

2009-05-05T12:39:00.003-04:00

Barack is in office, and my girlfriend herself said on CNN to Larry King not to long ago that she hopes one day there will be no more racism. Are we getting there???? They are at the Red House!!

I'm WYGBA, this commercial entertained me, and I'm black. LoL

P.S. Don't you just LOVE the music? Organ auto-play game proper.

WYGBA Loves The Queens!!!!

2009-04-30T12:44:00.005-04:00

Classic Queen Fuckery today for the kids!! *two snaps* Before I hit ya'll with Ballroom Tuesday, consider this post like the Pep Rally! MAN I love the queens!!!!!!!! Watch him turn his fish on!

Owwwwwwww! DO IT BITCH!!!!!

Shout out to the homie AlSharpTongue for leading me to this from twitter.

CHICAGO MUTHAFUCKIN LARRY

2009-04-29T11:06:00.003-04:00

This will go in my top 10 most hilarious things I've ever seen on YouTube EVER!!!!!!!!!! I have no other words! I just nearly died laughing!

FUCKKKKKKKKERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give him his own show IMMEDIATELY!!

Pray For The Kids

2009-04-28T15:41:00.006-04:00

I remember when I was little, there were some songs and music videos my mama was just NOT gonna have me and my little sister exposed to. I don't know what's going on with parents these days. People under the age of 13 mixed with certain songs/ dances just automatically equal a parenting FAIL. Father, help your children!

Young sir, you are all of 10 years old, if that. WHAT does thuggin love even mean at that age? Are you bullying somebody out of their Oatmeal Pie on the school yard and giving it to your girl?? (He can sing though...)

I know ya'll remember that!! They ain't gon think that shit is cute when she's 12 and shaking her ass all over the place.

And I KNOW we all remember when this hit the internet streets. They better put a Nuva Ring on lil mama in the pink at MENARCHE! I ain't lying! SMH.

I Take My Stanning VERY Seriously

2009-04-24T00:27:00.004-04:00

.... But even I can admit when there's fuckery afoot when it comes to my beloved Knowles ladies.

I was supposed to be watching a midnight screening of "Obsessed" as we speak. But much to my EXTREME dismay, Gallery Place/ Chinatown movie theater here in this wretched land that is DC canceled the midnight showing and for some reason, NO THEATERS IN DC ARE SHOWING OBSESSED AT MIDNIGHT. SO I had to peruse these innanets to get a fix of my girlfriend, Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter.

I love my mama, and I know my girlfriend loves her mama too. Hell, I adore Celestine Anne Beyince Knowles. How can I not???? I get biblical when I talk about Mama Tina. She begat my beloved girlfriend. Hell, Mama Tina and I even share a birthday. And I can just tell she's a down ass bitch and I love that about her. But I will not stand for the fuckery that is her appearance in this video.

DIDN'T YOU KNOW THE CAMERAS WERE ON CELESTINE???? SMH. She just looks HAGGARD. I am displeased.

Fuckery By Madam Lacefront!!

2009-04-20T16:39:00.003-04:00

So... I was on twitter (as usual) and I saw I had someone by the name of Madam_Lacefront following me. I went to her website and struck pure fuckery gold!!!!! No need to say more. These pictures are worth some stacks of words.

Boy! You are not Puerto Rican!!! It's a girl out there with a kinky haired baby on the way that's gon be maaaaaaaaaaaad....

How you go from Nubian Queen....

TO GHETTO GODDESS??? I can't with her!

Did you REALLY have to point out the baby hair??

The lacefront nor those contacts can help you boo. Sorry.

YTs in on it too??? Take me now!

NO WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get you a piece!!

When Sunday Comes My Troubles Go...

2009-04-19T09:20:00.002-04:00

... But this video you're about to watch troubled me on this glorious Sunday Mawnin'. A little background if you will-

Now, I know you ALL can remember when Kirk Franklin came out with Stomp. Think back to your first time hearing it. Let's say you just came in on the chorus, or on Salt from Salt and Pepa's rap. You may have been confused. You were probably listening to your regular old radio station, and Stomp was probably played right between Junior Mafia's "Crush On You" and Master P's "Make Em Say Uggh". If you were like me, you were jammin and then you stopped, listened to the lyrics, and realized.... it was a gospel song.

Kirk Franklin was responsible for making a plethora of super jiggy gospel songs. As my friend Katrina would say "Kirk Franklin needs to stop making these church songs with these tight ass beats!!" I didn't mind it so much.... UNTIL THIS WEEKEND. When Mary Mary took it to a WHOLE 'NOTHA LEVEL. Hold my mule.

AUTOTUNE???? AMBER ROSE IN THE VIDEO???? Noooooooooooooooooooooo Mary Mary!!!!!!! We are surely in the end of days.

If I ever hear this mixed with "Blame It On The Alcohol" I quit life. Unless it's during Communion I guess. *shrugs shoulders*

Inspired by Peety Pablo, Chalie Boy, and DMX??*

2009-04-18T19:22:00.005-04:00

I can't. It's too nice a weekend for this shit!!!!

I blame BatsFoMJ and twitter for me knowing about this bullshit. It made me remember this. SMH at how me and the homie Brie would start singing this theme song whenever we met somebody at HU with a ghetto name (it wasn't often).

*Freek-A-Leek, I'm Curious and What These Bitches Want.

Ballroom Thursday- One Tooth and I'm STILL Shittin' On Dese Hoes!!!

2009-04-16T01:41:00.008-04:00

This is an extra special fuckery filled edition of Ballroom Thursdays. I'm not gonna feature the outrageously fem and fabulous this week, though Ms. Selvin "Kool-Aid" Nanooshka Khan is fabulous in his own way! And I must say I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO am in love with Mother G.L.O.V. Ricky Allure! Just watch, listen, learn and LIVE!!!!!!! The whole clip is a a gem, so don't sell yourself short! But if you came just to see the dangling tooth, start at 4:27.

LEGENDARY.

CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!!!!!!

2009-04-14T18:54:00.004-04:00

I don't watch "You Are NOT The Father" anymore cause last time I did, I saw this-

and was immediately turned off. [1]

It's a shame I guess, cause word on the curb is that every 70 shows, they might sprinkle in an episode that has nothing to do with DNA testing. Go figure. So shout out to the homie Ja for directing to this nugget of fuckery. Her tip of the day, If ya man comes home and says he had Chicken Tetrazzini for lunch, pull a Riskay and ask to smell that dick!

WHY is she more country than a sugar sammich on light skinned bread?!?! I can't.

1. HOW and WHY do these broads constantly go on Maury with that 5000% sure bullshit? Setting yourself up for Epic Failure.

End Of Damn Days- Praise Dance on the Pole

2009-04-14T00:33:00.003-04:00

Check the blog roll for GOLD, but in case you've been under a rock and don't follow Fresh over at Crunk and Disorderly or my Twitter Twin's blog to get your Pop Culture Fix, get you a piece here!!!

I spotted this on those blogs. I just don't know how to feel about this. When I was growing up, my Sunday School teacher always said to make sure you use your talents to praise God. I'm pretty sure this is NOT what she had in mind. Now I know Ronnie and Trix said you gotta use what you got to get what you want, but I'm sure that doesn't include wanting to get into heaven! LoL. Jesus, take the wheel and drive me away from this foolishness!!!!!!!!

Diamond would not approve. Well, she might... she does wear all white these days like an angel.

P.S. I used to LOVE this song. I don't know if it'll ever be the same for me again.

P.S.S. I would love to see him go head to head on the pole with The Little Goonette.

Danger! She Smashed The Homies!!

2009-04-13T19:31:00.002-04:00

Growing up in Atlanta, we had a plethora of colorful euphemisms for having sex. And "Smash" wasn't one of them. It wasn't until I was 18 at HU that I heard someone from up north, or maybe the west coast say "I smashed." And when I figured out what he was talking about, I immediately put the term "Smashing" on my "DO NOT LIKE" list. LoL. But alas, the years up here have found "smash" in my vernacular, much to my dismay. This video makes us for it!

SMH. They shoulda never gave some niggas innanets.

Ballroom Thursday- DRAMATIC!

2009-04-09T15:23:00.006-04:00

You know what time it is. As you know, on Thursday, I like to pay homage to the ballroom scene. I fucking LIVE for these queens and the day I'm able to witness a ball in person will rank up there on my list of best days ever. You know what it is.

I can't love Leyomi with acknowledging Alloura. So here's an ode to Alloura, another FIERCE bitch whom Leyomi drew his/her inspiration from. Now "Dramatic" means the queen is about to GO AWWWWWF!!!! And Alloura is like the first to ever do it. He/She's the original at this dramatic shit. She's so See You Next Tuesday[1] as the queens would say! Those tittays might pop out EVERYTIME but don't let them fool you. Alloura was born swangin and not puntangin!!! I love it!! WERK ALLOURA!!!!

A bitch is practicing that sideways crawl on the floor TONIGHT you hear me?

Here's a montage video of some of my favorite clips (including some footage of my beloved Leyomi) of some other queens and Alloura him/herself going awwwf with the dramatics.

I LIVE!!!!

1. See You Next Tuesday is how I say the word C-U-N... Don't make me spell it out! really don't like that word! But you get it!

Spotted on the Innanets- Tang Fuckery Gold

2009-04-08T18:35:00.002-04:00

NO WORDS-

Visit ybf for more.

What's A Show Without Mr. Hit Dat Hoe?!?!

2009-04-08T10:17:00.006-04:00

A couple posts back I introduced some of you to Mr. Hit Dat Hoe. The more I watched the video, the more I realized that Mr. Hit Dat Hoe is my hero. I can watch his videos over, and over, and over again. Ask My Bestie and she'll tell you I'm good for watching shit a million times if I dig it.

Anywhooooooos, A WONDERFUL THING HAS HAPPENED!!!!!!!! Mr. Hit Dat Hoe HAS HIS OWN SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that would make me happier would be if my girlfriend Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter herself made a video doing Mr. Hit Dat Hoe's moves. I mean, Texas love, right?! Check my hero out, doing his thing to HIS SONG. Skip all the bullshit and Fuckery Greatness starts at 2:16.

AND HE PERFORMS AT THE CLUB!?!?! Get him booked at Love IMMEDIATELY!

I feel so proud. As a bonus, watch him get down to this other song "Bad Lil Braud". It's on my iPod. Don't judge me.

P.S. Caress, can Da Fashionist please feature Mr. Hit Dat Hoe as the style star of the week??? Do you SEE how he works a white tee with the Versace locs??

WTF Mondays

2009-04-06T01:03:00.005-04:00

I grew up in a marching band loving house. My mama was a majorette in high school. I was on the dance line, and my sister was a majorette too. We went to every damn Battle of the Bands Atlanta had. If you're from Atlanta, you know there was like 50-11 of them hoes a year. We didn't care. We enjoyed the HELL out of them.

Anyway, I guess my sister was having majorette withdrawl or something the other day, cause she was on youtube watching videos of majorettes working the hell out of a baton. And I'll be damned if she didn't find the single most FIERCE YET HILARIOUS marching band performance I've EVER seen in all my 23 years on this earth.

CLICK HERE AND GET YOU A BIG ASS MUTHAFUCKIN PIECE WHORE!!!!

Embedding disabled, but just follow your nose. It'll be worth it cause the fuckery level is through the gahtdamn roof on this one!!! My week is MADE.

I'm SOOOOOO hitting that 0:53-0:58 in the club this week.

P.S. Why he look like the dude that played Young Roland in "The Wood"?!?!

Bitch You'll Gag- Ballroom Thursdays

2009-04-02T17:02:00.009-04:00

My homie Tean called me her favorite gay man today on Twitter. Seeing as I'm puntangin' and not swangin' over here, I was confused until I remembered a quote from my dear Tyra in which she claimed she was a "Gay man trapped in a woman's body". I feel like that sometimes.

For instance.... I LIVE for the Ballroom scene!! If you don't know I'm about to put you on. I'm gonna feature a ballroom video every Thursday cause the fuckery factor if off the scale, you hear me?

There are A MILLION youtube videos from the scene. After perusing just about all of them, I have a favorite voguer, and Her name is LEIOMY MIZRAHI. Leiomy is THAT BITCH. They even say that my girlfriend gets inspiration from watching Leiomy videos.

I just love watching her do the damn thing. It gives me life! Who better to be featured in the inaugural Ballroom Thursday post than Ms. Leiomy!!! Get you a piece, whore!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Must Fu*kin' See T.V. For That Ass!!

2009-03-30T20:39:00.002-04:00

As an entertainment blogger, one should be able to write a blog in which they share thoughts or commentary on various subjects and goings on in the entertainment world. I am not an entertainment blogger. I blog about fuckery. And I should be able to type my little fuckery enthusiast heart away when I come across a JEWEL such as this. But after watching this, I AM SPEECHLESS. There are no words. So I'm let ya'll write. Please leave a comment with your thoughts. Flava Flav and Ray J AIN'T GOT SHIT ON PLIES!!!!

"Goonette" Trailer

Come and get some Coonery!!!!

2009-03-26T12:07:00.004-04:00

I was wondering what was going on with Chris Brown and googled "Hit Dat Hoe". I came across this gem of fuckery and I knew I had to post it. This negro is HITTING that shit! But it's still A+ coonery at it's finest. Do you see his hair?!?!?! We shall overcome one day, but as long as it's somebody out there in the world doing this shit right here, it won't be today.

THANK GOD THEY AIN'T FROM ATLANTA!

Love, Sex, Magic . . . Girl Crush Reactivated

2009-03-23T01:35:00.001-04:00

I say all the time that Beyonce is my girlfriend. And in my head she is. No, I'm not gay, I love penis. It's a great and quite wonderful thing. But I just wanna be around Beyonce. I wanna go to sleep and wake up next to her every morning and have her sing to me as I stroke her hair while Jay-Z and my Bust It Baby are in the kitchen making us turkey sausage and cheese omelettes. Yes I love Bey, and I make no apologies for it. But On October 25, 2006, I cheated on my girlfriend for the first time.

Ciara's "Promise" video was on my TV Screen, and I was mesmerized. And it was weird, cause I liked Ciara b4, but I always saw her as that cheerleader from Riverdale that made it big! Go Atlanta and all that good stuff. But that damn Promise video had me with a new, albeit fleeting, girl crush on CiCi. The buzz died down, and I was back to girl crushing only on Queen Bey.

It's been a peaceful year and a half since Promise. But now CiCi's back on my girl crush radar. Cause THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE NIGGA!!!!! Whew! I present to you, LOVE SEX MAGIC. The music video in full. Be prepared to be mesmerized.

P.S. Penis, don't be worried. I will never forsake you.

When all else fails, Do some "Hoe Shit"

2009-03-12T16:20:00.000-04:00

I used to be a girlfriend type of girl. These days, I'm enjoying living the single life. Engaging in what I'd like to call "Hoe Shit". No, I'm not a hoe. I just dabble in Hoe-ish ativities. "When all else fails, do some hoe shit." Those are the words of Erykah Badu.

I'd also like to shout out my homie Caress Lepore who says, and I quote "Hoe Shit is what Willis was talking about!" If you don't know, you better ask somebody.

The Audacity of Keri Hilson

2009-03-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

So by now I'm sure you've heard the "Turning Me On (Remix)" in which Keri Hilson takes a stab at Beyonce. I like Keri Hilson. I do. Turning Me On is my shit. It is. But Keri, C'MON!!!!!!!!! How dare you! The mayor of East Bumblefuck can't come at Obama!! This guy sums it up HILARIOUSLY!!!!!!!!

Get with it or get lost!!

Network TV YT Fuckery

2009-03-03T10:24:00.001-05:00

So I watched Jimmy Fallon's show last night. It was pretty good. I'ma need Jimmy Boy to work on the interview skills a little bit. He had Robert De Niro up there looking like he was saying "They shoulda neva gave this nigga a show" in his head. But having the Roots as the house band and Justin Timberlake as a guest didn't hurt. How funny was "Slow Jammin' The News"?!

Now, anyone that knows me knows I'm always conflicted on Saturday night about going out to the club. I always go... but I get sad for a quick minute that I can't watch Saturday Night Live while it's actually on live. (Thank goodness for DVR. I get home from the club and watch SNL every Saturday at like 4 in the am, or later depending on if I'm getting some of the medicine ;) ) And watching Jimmy last night made me just REALLY wanna watch one of my favorite SNL skits ever. It starts off slow but ends up being FUCKING HILARIOUS! If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.

RAOTFLMMFBACTFAIMATWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I saw that on a tweet. Rolling all over the floor laughing my mother-fu*kin black ass completely the fu*k, and I mean all the way, off! I think it's the ultimate LoL.)

His mama named him Clay, I'ma call him Clay

2009-02-26T19:20:00.000-05:00

Ya'll know I love Lil Duval AND I especially love T.I. The former for being cute with his little self and the latter for being responsible for my introduction to Young Dro... and that rapping thing he does too. So while perusing the internet for Fuckery, I came across this little jewel and I had to share!

T.I. is so silly!!!!!!! The video is ten times funnier just because of how hard he's laughing. LoL. But I feel their pain. I met a girl who told me "Everybody calls me Chocolate" when I asked her for her name. SMH. You crazy if you think I'm bout to call you that. Silly rabbit.

p.s. This begs the question, at what age is it not okay for a grown ass man to have a nickname anyway?

Oscars Schmoscars!!!

2009-02-23T09:56:00.001-05:00

Let the other sites give you the Oscar fill, we fucks with Presidential Shit over here!

President Barack and First Lady Obama hosted the Governor's dinner this past weekend. Check out the pics below.

Aren't they a good looking couple!

President Obama looking like he kinda wishes it was some Cognac in that glass. I know I'm not the only one that thinks Barack dranks that 'Yac.

First Lady Michelle "BAD BITCH" Obama and the Terminator (this nigga's still in office? Doesn't it seem like he's been Cali's governor forever?!)

If I hear one joke about whether or not they served fried chicken, I'm slapping a random yt. Good stuff nonetheless.

Too Much Time On Your Hands

2009-02-20T20:46:00.000-05:00

Seriously, HOW do you remember all that?!

The Joke Stops Here

2009-02-20T03:35:00.000-05:00

I took down every post I had up that made fun of Chris Brown and Rihanna after I saw the picture on TMZ of Rihanna right after the beating. Seeing that made shit REAL. I started to post it... but it's SUCH a blower. I mean, after seeing that picture, there was NOTHING I could think of to defend Chris. All I could think of was how much he needs his ass WHUPPED. Seriously. If you haven't seen it, and you'd like to, kindly direct yourself to TMZ.com.

Granted, this blog is dedicated to the funny and the fuckery, but I feel like seeing that picture makes you feel like showing a little more respect to the situation. That's what it did for me. Chris Brown better pray. It's gotta be niggas READY to beat his ass for this shit right here. SMH.

Raw Dogg Pokin'? Nooooooo!!

2009-02-19T18:02:00.000-05:00

I think this just may have crossed the line from fuckery to some real bullshit! LoL. I can't call it! Ladies, start carrying your own Goldies (hopefully), cause clearly these negroes are on some other shit these days!

SMH. A damn shame! And I love Lil Duval! Ask my HU friends. He did the homecoming comedy show my freshman year and I threw some draws at him on stage. I have an autographed poster from him that says "Learn to keep yo drawz to your damn self. Love, Roland Powell." But I can't cosign this. LoL. What should I expect from a man that asked the world on Twitter, and I quote, "WOULD I BE WRONG TO ASK MY BABYMAMA TO BABYSIT MY GIRLFRIEND DAUGHTER WHILE I TAKE HER TO HAWAII ON VACATION?"

YT Got Soul!!

2009-02-17T15:28:00.000-05:00

This has made it's way into my inbox and I started not to share cause it is Black History Month after all. But this is Grade A Collegiate fuckery at it's finest!

If you're anything like me, you said to yourself, "They better not do the dance..." then screamed "OH SHIT!!!!" when they hit it. LMAO.

Did a lil research and discovered they put on for their city too!

Shout out to the Team Chunk YT getting it on the "Got Money" part!!! I can't! So I'ma let you.

As a bonus, I had to post this one too cause Top Back is like, one of my all-time favorite TI songs.

Enjoy.

What's this?!

2009-02-17T13:09:00.000-05:00

LMAO @ Diddy looking at that $1 bill like just what the fuck is this and how did it get here?! LoL. I keep telling ya'll folks be serious about their lyrics. It's all about the Benjamins baby.

Sick Sad World

2009-02-17T12:38:00.001-05:00

I used to watch Daria faithfully. And I always snickered at the "Sick Sad World" segments. That was until I got older and realized we really do live in a sick, sad world.

Police: Ohio man held woman captive, read Bible

TOLEDO, Ohio — Ohio police say a man held a woman captive in handcuffs and an adult diaper for three days while he read Bible passages to her.

Troy Brisport, of Toledo, is charged with kidnapping and felonious assault. Bail was set Tuesday at $400,000.

Police say he picked up the woman Wednesday night in Detroit and drove her to his home, about 55 miles away.

She told police when she fell asleep, Brisport handcuffed her wrists and ankles, gagged her, undressed her and put her in an adult diaper.

Court documents state Brisport tried several times to suffocate the woman using a pillow and blanket.

She told police she escaped Saturday after he fell asleep.

Toledo police Capt. Ray Carroll says it appears there was no sexual assault.

___

Information from: The Blade, http://www.toledoblade.com/

___

What part of the game is this?!?! I can't today.

I'm A Part Time Stripper, And I Do Hair

2009-02-13T11:00:00.000-05:00

I figured if I didn't acknowledge the date today, nothing bad would happen to me, as it always does. But I woke up to this shit in my inbox.

I'm so very very sad now. But I think this was my bad thing for the day, cause I actually watched the whole thing. Did you see the Chuckie Doll?!?!?! I can't today!

Sidenote- You're cool if you know where the title came from. LoL.

I Take My Stanning Very Seriously

2009-02-12T13:57:00.000-05:00

A dose of my girlfriend. I love this damn song. Mainly because Mrs. Carter's vocals on this track are nothing short of OUTSTANDING. You can be the biggest Beyonce hater in the universe and would still have to admit that she can sing after hearing this. 2:00- 3:07?! Forget about it! Shit's gold. Enjoy. I always do.

What the fuk is he saying?!

2009-02-12T11:48:00.001-05:00

I have a lot of respect for Ryan Leslie. Not only did he graduate from Harvard at 19, but he wrote a hit song for Cassie. Have you heard her voice?! Now that's what you call accomplishment. Anyway, Ryan Leslie's new CD is a BANGER. Now, I might be crazy, but my favorite song on the CD is one in which I can hardly understand what this nigga is saying. But I LOVE this song. Who knew you could love a song without understanding the lyrics. The song is Appropriately entitled "Gibberish". LoL. Take a listen.

DOWNLOAD: ryan leslie - gibberish

LoL. Guess I won't be singing along any time soon.

*Side note- One of my twitter buds calls Ryan Leslie "Milhouse." LMAO. I see it! Hilarious.

Wait a minute... Ain't that Brandy's Brother?

2009-02-12T10:45:00.000-05:00

Anybody that knows me know I loathe the coonery that is those stupid ass Vh1 Flavor of Love spinoff shows. I watched FoL1 and 2. Even ILNY1, but after that, I couldn't take that shit anymore (I blame the introduction of Chance, one of the most ridiculous niggas I've ever seen on a TV screen). Fuckery, I can take. Coonery, not so much.

But then I heard my love Ray J was about to join the list of folks with these shows. I resolved I wouldn't watch. But I was fooling myself. I LOVES ME SOME RAY J. I liked him since he was D Money on Moesha. He was cute to me. Then he got older. Started looking better. Then I saw that sex tape, that stroke and those 10 inches and I was like YUP! He's on my list. So, I watch the show. Sue me.

Anyway, via Stylerazzi, the word on the curb is that the chick with the Mike Tyson face tattoo is pregnant with my boo's seed!! LAWD SAY IT AIN'T SOOOO!!!!!!!!

A spokesperson for Ray J's new TV dating show has dismissed allegations the R&B singer impregnated a contestant during filming, insisting there is "no truth" to the claims. The star, who has been romantically linked to Whitney Houston-has his own VH1 show, "For The Love of Ray J," in which he searches for his perfect woman.

But the reality program, which launched in the U.S. on February2nd, has already been struck by scandal, with former contestant Monica 'Danger' Leon alleging she is more than three months pregnant with the singer's child after falling for Ray J's charms.

(This is her last Sunday at the Grammy's. Does she look 3 months or so preggy to you? My mind won't let me see it.)

According to a news report, Leon bedded Brandy's little brother in November (08) -but has found herself with child after their condom broke and her contraception pill failed. She tells the tabloid, "I was locked in a mansion with him and 13 girls from October until the end of December. Toward the end of the first week of filming, we made love for the first time - and we slept together every night after that."

Leon-who is now engaged to marry rapper/actor Nick Cannon's brother Gabriel - allegedly told Ray J of her baby news, and the star is reportedly keen to get involved, but she is keeping him at bay because of his straying affections.

She adds, "I saw him playing around with other girls-making out with them and smacking their butts, and it made me sick to think he could be giving me their germs when he was kissing me."

However, a representative for the show has brushed off Leon's claims, saying: "We've been told that the story is not true."

Wait... Nick Cannon's little brother? WTF? How random is that? Anyway, only time will tell! If I had one wish, there wouldn't be a bit of truth to it.

Jam On It!

2009-02-11T10:15:00.000-05:00

I don't care what other songs are gonna be released in 2009, It's early February, and I've already found my jam for the year. I love this damn song! I could listen to it 24/7 and damn near have been. Don't see myself getting tired of it AT ALL. Loving the vid. Check it out.

Say what you want, but The Dream can get it from me. Little known fact- I was some what of a Drum Major whore when I was growing up.From the time I hit middle school, I always knew the names and faces of all the drum majors of all the Atlanta Public Schools high schools, (and Southwest Dekalb cause the band was the shit despite being on the Eastside). So I remember Terius Nash from Harper Archer! I thought he was cute back then. I was in like 7th or 8th grade when he was a senior... But I digress.

Now That's A Bad Bitch

2009-02-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

When I saw Michelle Obama on election night in that very memorable red and black stunner of a dress by Narcisco Rodriguez, I turned and asked a friend "Is it okay to call Michelle a Bad Bitch? I need answers, cause DAMNIT will you LOOK AT HER?!!?! That's a bad ass bitch!"

No disrespect. But hey, I call it like I see it. And if ever anybody deserved the title.... Sheeeeit. I wouldn't be surprised if Barack Obama himself thinks from time to time "My wife is a bad bitch."

The First Lady is covering Vogue this month. Now... I could applaud Vogue for this, but I'm not. It's Black History month and those bitches hardly ever give a Black woman a cover. And black models?! Forget about it. Oprah, Halle Berry, and JHud have each graced the covers but no Tyra, Alek Wek, or Veronica Webb. But I digress....

Check out the Baddest Bitch on the world and her Vogue Cover. Yes, I said "On the world". She's that bad.

I Take My Stanning Very Seriously

2009-02-10T18:01:00.000-05:00

Anyone that knows me knows I live and breathe Beyonce Giselle Knowles. I make no qualms about the fact that I would love to wake up and see her everyday and have her sing to me and then tell her how pretty she is. So, I wouldn't be doing my civic duty without a daily dose of my girlfriend (in my head, no homo, well, maybe just a little bit.) Get with it or get lost.

Get em Sasha Fierce. I want those glasses.

Lest We Forget

2009-02-10T17:32:00.001-05:00

All this drama might have some of us forgetting it's Black History month. But not here at Peach Cobbler!

We all know about MLK, Marcus Garvey, and the other famous, more prominent black figures in history, but what about the less famous ones who have made arguably as valuable contributions?

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney of Ben Hill Atlanta, GA, was working the night shift at a McDonald's in 1974. The 16 year-old high school junior had just been severely reprimanded by her manager, one Arnold McFarland, over her Afro hairdo being unprofessional. McFarland gave her an ultimatum of wearing a clown hat or being fired, and Delaney, working to save money for cosmetology school, relented and wore the clown hat.

Hours later, she noticed several of her classmates in the drive-through window, on their way to a party.. Luscious Jones, Fred Williams, Eddie James, and Derrick Smith were riding in a green AMC Pacer. The four of them ordered four hamburgers, and were going to split three orders of fries and two Cokes. Peaches, filling the order, noticed that McFarland (the manager) had taken his nightly thirty-minute bathroom break, had an epiphany. She locked eyes with LaWanda, who was on fries, and Fat Sam, who was on the register, and in a blur of motion, they stuffed 5 jumbo bags with every single hamburger, cheeseburger, French fry, cookie, and other item they could find, accepting $1.01 from Luscious Jones as payment.

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney had invented... "The Hook-Up."

We salute you Ms. Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney... a Black Leader in African-American History.

Beating a Dead Horse... kinda

2009-02-10T13:07:00.000-05:00

Sooooo, I know we're all kinda sick of the Christopher Robyn saga. If you're like me, you're just ready for the real press releases to come out. But via Necole Bitchie, word on the curb is that they broke up weeks ago and have been forced to make nice by their publicists. I'm gonna present exhibits A and B why I believe this is true.

There was a pre-grammy party Timberland had a week ago. Now, Chris and Rihanna were both there. All these pis were released and there were no pictures of Chris and Rih Rih together. Until now....

Exhibit A- So you gon act like you don't see me? I'M TALKING TO YOU CHRIS!!

Exhibit B- For real? Ohhhh, I get it. So you're ignoring me now, huh? Is that it? Fuck me, huh Chris?

I know I've been there before. But what happened between the lines. Maybe that night they had a Baby Boy "I HATE YOU JODY/ I LUH YOU JODY" scene. Who knows. Lawd let them fill in the blanks! I can't take too much more of this.

I know we all make jokes, but Domestic Violence is a serious thing and a real problem. If you or someone who know is a victim, seek help. Pray about it, and start here- National Domestic Violence Hotline

I Love You 50... But...

2009-02-09T23:50:00.001-05:00

Serious?!?! Pimpin Curly?

LMAO! I can't!

The Christopher Robyn Bandwagon

2009-02-09T22:25:00.001-05:00

So, as you all know by now unless you've been under one of Whitney's crack rocks for the past 24 hours, Chris Brown "allegedly" laid those hands to Robyn Rihanna Fenty a little after midnight on Sunday. Now.... I'm not here to post facts. Facts are rarely fuckery laden (although in this case, when the facts surface, I have a feeling the fuckery will be there). Besides, nobody really knows the facts but the two of them.

But the speculation on the internet is BANANAS (c) Ashanti.

So I decided I'd share some of the more interesting theories as to what may have actually happened.

From a coworker- "I heard he was mad she got drunk at the party, so he bust her in the head with a bottle, then tried to kick her out themoving car with some steel toed dancing boots"
From internet comments- "She was trying to put some of that Island voodoo on him and he didn't appreciate it, so he started pop locking on her face."
Overheard on the train and multiple other places "I guess that lil n***** really did take her down huh? POPPIN one right off on her eye."
From internet comments- "Jay told Rihanna she was gon' have to sit with him cause Bey wasn't showing up, but Chris wasn't going for it and erupted in a jealous, rage. Giving her a whupping she'd remember FOREVER. FOREVER."

Hopefull time will reveal the real story. Better hit her with some of this Kells, Chrissy Pooh. Wait... hit her with... Bad choice of words. Ya'll know what I mean.

*Sidenote- I DIED laughing during the Grammy's when they showed the doublemint commercial. If only I had known that may be the last time I'll see it on my TV screen.

2008-09-22T13:14:00.000-04:00

I guess I should do a welcome post, but what would it really say other than welcome? Some "about me" stuff? That's in the profile link to your right. I guess I should say, welcome into the mind of a fuckery enthusiast. I live for it. Fuckery helps me sleep at night. And it's a lot of it in the world. So join me as I explore it!