Monday, February 9, 2009

The Christopher Robyn Bandwagon

So, as you all know by now unless you've been under one of Whitney's crack rocks for the past 24 hours, Chris Brown "allegedly" laid those hands to Robyn Rihanna Fenty a little after midnight on Sunday. Now.... I'm not here to post facts. Facts are rarely fuckery laden (although in this case, when the facts surface, I have a feeling the fuckery will be there). Besides, nobody really knows the facts but the two of them.

But the speculation on the internet is BANANAS (c) Ashanti.

So I decided I'd share some of the more interesting theories as to what may have actually happened.

  • From a coworker- "I heard he was mad she got drunk at the party, so he bust her in the head with a bottle, then tried to kick her out themoving car with some steel toed dancing boots"
  • From internet comments- "She was trying to put some of that Island voodoo on him and he didn't appreciate it, so he started pop locking on her face."
  • Overheard on the train and multiple other places "I guess that lil n***** really did take her down huh? POPPIN one right off on her eye."
  • From internet comments- "Jay told Rihanna she was gon' have to sit with him cause Bey wasn't showing up, but Chris wasn't going for it and erupted in a jealous, rage. Giving her a whupping she'd remember FOREVER. FOREVER."

Hopefull time will reveal the real story. Better hit her with some of this Kells, Chrissy Pooh. Wait... hit her with... Bad choice of words. Ya'll know what I mean.

*Sidenote- I DIED laughing during the Grammy's when they showed the doublemint commercial. If only I had known that may be the last time I'll see it on my TV screen.

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